Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Julia Roberts, Chloe Sevigny = video vamps?

Seems like the latest It part in Hollywood is video vamp.

Dave Matthews Band's video for "Dreamgirl" features Julia Roberts (really) as the ultimate groupie. It starts out she's having this dream where she's in this field, right? And then it turns into a nighmare where she's running away from this guy with no face, and she crashes into Leroi Moore from the band, but he's kind of also the no-face guy, but the scariest part is really her weird Y-camp fake dreadlock hair, and then she wakes up and Boyd Tinsley's cooking up some grub, OK, and then the no face guy is actually Dave, so they're about to totally make out, but then she wakes up again for real this time and turns out she's boffing bassist Stefan Lessard and has a day job.

Meanwhile, the new Smog video features everyone's favorite counterculture socialite and moonlighting actress as a meek hotel maid doing laundry and various other banalities.

The unexciting thing about this development is how tasteful and reserved the videos are. In other words, cockless. How about Julia Roberts making amateur porn with Liv Tyler? Or Chloe Sevigny giving a beej to a former Calvin Klein model? (wait...)

How far we've come since the days of Bobbie Brown getting the hose for Warrant. Coming soon: Scarlett Johannson as a gas station attendant for Animal Collective, Maggie Gyllenhaal as a dental hygenist for 50 cent.

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