Friday, February 17, 2006

Matrimony Free Living

*Important note: A close friend of mine recently (yesterday) informed me that he is engaged to his longtime girlfriend. That's all well and good and sweet, but it is also terrifying. I'm 21 years old, and should not have any friends who are getting married! I consider myself an incompetant, hyperactive child, and imminant matrimony - anywhere - doesn't really jive with my self-image. So, here's my response from now on in if any of you sons of bitches tells me you're engaged or getting married: "No you're not." Got it? "I have important news - Logan and I are engaged." "No you're not." End of story. Unless you're pregnant with Tom Cruise's baby, in which case congratulations are in order.

Silent birth is less traumatic for the baby,


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