Friday, April 14, 2006

On Top Of It All, You're Here With Me!

There's a fair amount of buzz at this point about who Joss Whedon plans to cast as his lead in Wonder Woman. And that's interesting and all - my bets are on Morena Baccarin, but my heart's on Jessica Alba, and has anyone considered Christina Ricci? Anyone?

Right, except here's the thing: I wasn't even born yet when WW was on the air, so I can't get too psyched about it - but following WW, I predict a slew of other 70's and 80's superheroine revivals. Hopefully they'll let Barbarella lie in its current state of perfection, and will instead make live-actions out of cartoon favorites. I suggest:

Jem & The Holograms

They could take the low road on this one, and cast a tight-smiled "multi-talented" ingenue like Hilary Duff as Jem, with Kirsten Smith on botch-up duties, but I prefer to think they'll take the high road and make Jem a shit-slinging dyke bitch with a drinking problem and an axe to grind (pun intended), co-written by Nancy Pimental and Tina Fey and played by Annie Hardy or Parker Posey or Peta Wilson or someone.

She-Ra, Princess of Power!

Starring Ann Heche or Sarah Michelle Geller or Rebecca Romijn or anyone but fucking Jennifer Garner. This has to be directed with finesse, what with Swift Wind the flying horse and characters with names like Mantenna and Cast-a-spella (really). Oh, also - when I was a kid I used to say, "She-Rah! Princessa DOWWA!" instead of "Princess of Power". How precious is that?

I mean, come to think of it - there are no good girl action stars nowadays. Whatever happened to Lucy Lawless, anyways?


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