Monday, August 22, 2005

I live in New York because...

...unlike Switzerland, it isn't Middle Earth. Yes, the mighty Unspunnen Stone has once again been stolen from Interlaken. The theft seems to be an attempt to thwart the efforts of the Prussian Swiss to observe the annual Unspunnen Festival, an event which includes Alphorn playing, lederhosen wrestling, yodelling, and a competition in which giants and ogres pick up the collossal stone and throw it as far as they are able, in hopes of winning the hand of a fair maiden. The group responsible for the theft, a separatist movement called Belier from the neighboring Francophone region of Jura, issued a statement saying: "It is obvious the Unspunnen stone is again in Jurassian hands." The king has hired the services of a mage, who has cast a deep sleep spell over the kingdom until a prince can seize the stone from the dark forrests of Jura, and return it safely to the pedestal on which it stood. least our alligators live in the sewers. In LA, on the other hand, an alligator has taken up residency in Harbor Park, and not only has it alluded the alligator wrangler hired by the city to capture it, but it has garnered local support. Local residents are hanging lakeside in hopes of catching a glimpse of "Harbor Park Harry", and have also taken to feeding the gator and selling Tshirts with alligator logos. No word yet from La Coste on the legal repurcussions of this. According to the BBC, visitors have been feeding him "tortillas, French bread, and dougnuts" - one of many recent signs of Atkins backlash.

In other news: Dr. Robert Moog passed away this past weekend at age 71. Apparently, the first electronic instrument he ever built was a theramin, but he invented the MiniMoog - "the first compact, easy-to-use synthesizer" - in 1970, forever changing the face of music and the genre descriptions of Pitchfork reviewers.

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