No one could make this shit up.

As Max helpfully pointed out, the lede of the article following the ze-hat article is:

Next: Orthodox Jews Fattening Up Zoo Monkeys

The idea here is, Orthodox Jews invade Central Park at this time of year to dump their leavened bread on the snow monkeys. Then the snow monkeys get fat and lazy, much to the consternation of zookeepers. Despite zoo staff's best efforts, the Jews will not be stopped, and one or two even pulls a Mordechai ("I don’t answer to you; I answer to a higher power"). I can't emphasize enough how hilarious I find this, and the cherry on top is the commentary from one Rabbi Moshe Elefant - no fucking joke. It doesn't get any better.

I’m not sure how many animals are up for matzo,

~Andrea